Escape to Beer Mountain
Launch vipers.
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- If your last name has more than 2 syllables, and your first name has more than one syllable, your nickname will come from the beginning of your last name. (Pedey, Ells, Salty, Nap, etc.) Exception: Lavarnway, because SALTY OR GTFO.
- If your first name has only one syllable, and your last name has more than one syllable, your nickname is your first name preceded by “l’il.” (i.e. L’il Shane, L’il Clay.)
- If you are legitimately very small for a ball player, your first name will be proceeded by “little,” regardless of syllables. (Little Dustin, Little Pedro.)
- If you are L’il Clay’s daughter, you are Little L’il Clay.
- If you have two syllables in your first and last name, nicknames based on your actual name are awkward* and alternatives should be researched. Hence, David Ortiz is Big Papi. *With the exception of Ryan Dempster, whose name shortens comfortably to Demp.
- If your entire name totals three or fewer syllables, I will refer to you using all of your names, kind of like Steve Holt. (Mike Carp! Johnny Gomes!) Unless you are a pitcher; then I probably don’t even care. (Sorry, John Lester.)
- If you are Japanese, I have no desire to alter your cute/awesome name.
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Photoset reblogged from eloquent as fuck
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my new tumblr devoted to libraries, books, writing, and dessert porn
please to follow?
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Quote reblogged from Book Mania!Why is it that the most unoriginal thing we can say to one another is still the thing we long to hear? ‘I love you’ is always a quotation.Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body (via bookmania)
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Women in the workplace are advised not to be emotional ever, because they’ll be discounted on the basis that they’re being overly emotional—’that time of the month,’ perhaps. Meanwhile, women who are efficient and focused and driven are ‘ice queens’ and they’re viewed with suspicion as well; some people suggest they aren’t ‘real women.’ If you’re a working woman, you can’t have emotions, can’t object to being mistreated, can’t report harassment and abuse because you’re overreacting, but you also can’t be clinical and focused on getting the job done without being emotionally expressive. Where, exactly, are women supposed to fit in to this rubric? There is no way to win, and the system is structured that way deliberately.
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Post reblogged from eloquent as fuck
I JUST WANT A KITTEN
IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?
otoh, i would visit your parents more if there were a cat up in that shit
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Post reblogged from eloquent as fuck
I JUST WANT A KITTEN
IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?
No, I wanted a kitten my whole life, but I had to wait till I was 21. That is pretty much when the world will let you be a pet owner.
HASHTAG REALTALK
